I don't do new year resolutions. I don't live in the spur of the moment promises, nor am I good planner.
I do have a list with things I want to do during 2017. It's a hefty list, with the little things, as well as the bold and daring dreams. The key word here is "do". Not achieve.
They are all things that mean a lot to me; I want to do all these because they are things I believe in, or things that make others - and me - happy.
Whether I achieve anything by doing them, that is another story.
I haven't set that expectation of me, this time.
In fact, I haven't set any expectations at all for 2017. I want to look at it as a clean, crisp Canson paper where I can play with my pastels as long as I like, add the colours gradually and see what comes out of it. No rush, no pressure. 2016 has been a very challenging year for many. For me personally, it meant a lot of self-search and reflection. And at times, it felt like going around in circles.
Therefore It seems fit to leave you with this text I wrote a while ago, when a friend challenged me to think about a circle of reflections. I was never thinking of publishing it, but by the way our year has been hitting all the wrong notes, it makes sense to write it down again.
About the roundness of the circle:
Nobody ever saw the face of God yet I am sure he is everywhere, at every step and can take any shape; in fact, I am sure creation has the form of a circle. Life starts in the roundness of a womb. Or an egg. Planets are round; we all live enclosed in a big round circle and people died for their belief in its roundness.
I am sure as hell that lines and rectangles have been artificially made so we can be easily put in a corner, forgetting about our own wholeness and about the roundness of our circles.
We live in all kind of circles - and the most miraculous of all, we call it circle of life. We surround ourselves in more of these concentric circles: circle of friends, circle of trust, circle of love. The lucky ones even get to intersect these circles. Their tangents are a joke though; they are merely lines.
Coming full circle is not a coincidence either, is it? We start as helpless babies, learning everything and then we come around, forgetting, getting weaker and ending up just as helpless as we started.
We round up: our wealth, in rounding up amounts, we round up the cattle, the sheep, we round up the family for news. We gather around the table.
And all around and inside these circles, our world is made entirely of reflections. Each object, each colour is more or less defined by the amount of light absorbed, emitted or reflected. We are reflected - yet we are also reflecting.
I find it amazing that the English language gives the act of thinking the same word as the act of throwing back the light without absorbing or retaining it. And it is also amazing that the eye globe is round; the iris through which we filter these reflections has a circle shape too.
Unfortunately we are unable to retain the light but we are able to retain a thought.
Sometimes we skip around these circles, without giving it too much thought or even without being aware of it all. And then again, we seem to come to a full circle. A circle of reflection.