Permission to Despair

What a peculiar, short word is "Now"; yet with the most elusive power.
Say it - and you've already stepped into next minute.
Effaced by faceless automatons who march into the hour
Towards the cubicles located in a central pivot.

Don't front the winter with your collar raised up like a shield,
You're not alone and you are loved; so loose that state of mind.
Somehow we'll make it through this baffling battlefield
Back to the grounds we lost during the daily grind...

This is part of a larger body of work tackling estrangement as a result of feeling overwhelmed.
How does one avoid shutting down? How does one express becoming emotionless in a world seemingly more devoid of feelings, where we become faceless silhouettes, rushing towards oblivion, while being invaded by all these picture perfect selfies?
Is it in the silence beyond that smile that never took off?
Is it in the quiet desperation of the fingers clutching a little too tight to the collar we're raising up as a shield?
How do we find the way back to communicating and being part of the community we live in?

 

Under the Sign Of The Snail - A Self-portrait Throughout The Year

 

I don’t believe in horoscopes but if I were to choose a sign, most of the time it feels that I might be born under the sign of snail.

I actually really like snails. They are amazing, tenacious animals and just by observing them, I think I learned more that I would have given them credit for.

I started this series as a bit of a joke; a modern reference to the tortoise and hare story. But then I realised this is a very accurate self-portrait throughout this year. 2015 has been anything but a peaceful year for many, me included.  As I don’t do selfies, this is the perfect way of illustrating the year so far. So here is my story.

We all proceed from the beginning, equally aligned on that imaginary “start” line. At first, you’re still half – hidden in your shell, evaluating all: yourself, the race and its obstacles. A cautious start and then you’re on.

 

You’re doing fine - it seems you’re way ahead and leading; even ahead of your own thoughts.  And for a while, you’re doing just that, happy to lead the race. You’re even tempted to peep behind, to see how others might be doing. Not out of malice, ‘coz that’s not you; but rather through an honest desire to know that they are well. Or maybe even help them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But somewhat along this course, there comes the moment when you seemingly get stuck on a spot forever, while others get on with the race quite fast.  Without extending the same courtesy and check on you.  You start doubting yourself and your ability to achieve what yesterday seemed so close. Your thoughts are roaming wildly until the second you realise you really needed all this time with yourself. You needed to re-discover who you are, to perfect and re-create yourself into a stronger you.

 

 

 

 

 

There’s still time and you can win this. So you regroup fast and keep going, no matter how tired you might be on this particular day. Tomorrow you’ll be looking back and smiling. Because today you didn’t yield.