A Big, Warm Hug

 

A long time ago, when my beloved Nana passed away, I promised myself that I would never go to a funeral again – except mine.

Joke aside; it doesn’t take a Rocket Scientist to figure out that I really don’t deal very well with loss and grief.
A very selfish approach - I came to realise - but my birth day this year has changed it: this year, I chose to spend my 40^th birthday honouring the life of a very brave fellow mother who lost her battle with cancer.
We weren’t very close, but the friendship we struck during the school drop off and pick-up times has left such a strong mark. I feel very lucky to have known her, and maybe we did cross paths for a reason.

While grieving is still a very raw issue to me, I now understand that here are so many other heartaches out there. Like how do you say good bye to your loved ones, especially to your children? How can you keep positive, trying to make some great last memories for them? How do you hide your tears, knowing you will not see them growing and that you will be missing out on everything we otherwise take for granted?

I keep thinking about her randomly. This morning, she popped in my thoughts while I peeped outside, over the grasslands and I was greeted by this view.
I don't easily believe in signs, but fog is very unusual at this time of the year and during the entire period we have been living here, I have only seen this particular type of sunset only once before. today, it really felt like the Universe was sending down a big,warm hug. I thought I'd pass it around to everyone in need of one.

Life Line

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Out of a pen, those mighty words 

Flew over skies down to a grassy knoll

Hiding around, like homeless birds

And found their home inside a lonely soul. 

Each day, they fly from darkness to the sun.

Each lightless night they guide towards the shore. 

Their magic spell has quietly been spun:

The lonely soul would like some more.

 

A while ago, I wouldn’t have gathered the courage to confess what inspired my poem.

But over the past few months I have learned that anxiety and depression are more common that we think. That it takes time and strength to reach for help. And that is perfectly fine. What is not fine at all is the taboo zone around the mental health dialogue; we tend to pretend that all is great when in reality it is hard to admit even to ourselves that it is not.

We are brought up to be perfectionists – and we are also putting this pressure upon ourselves, to be perfect in every single thing we do. Except that somewhat our upbringing forgets to mention that the world we live in is far from being perfect. There is so much anguish, pain and inequity out there. Not to mention the huge geo-political unrest we are currently witnessing.

So today, on “R U OK Day”, I want you to ask your friends and family if they truly are ok. Better still, I want you to really listen to what they say.  Just put your phones/books/newspapers down for a few minutes and listen.  Just listen. They might surprise you with a frank answer.

Because I know how it feels to smile on the outwards while feeling sheer desolation.

Because around three months ago, this poem was inspired by a “Beyond Blue” add inviting to reach out when you feel depressed.  Ok, the pen is a poetical licence; it was actually a screen. But you get the idea. TALK TO SOMEONE AND REACH OUT if you feel that life is getting too much. And when someone does talk back to you, believe me, it’s a life line.

Enjoy a quiet, beautiful walk in the sunrise of my grasslands. For me, art is the best medicine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Frozen Magic, Frozen Fingers and Early Mornings

Some mornings are more challenging than I’d think. A tiny flicker of light is beckoning through the blinds at an ungodly hour, when even the Sun is still pondering whether to come out or not.  

And if I do choose to follow it, sometimes I need a reminder of why I leave that toasty, delicious warmth and my oh-so precious sleep and go out chasing morganas: because each morning is unique. And magic. A different kind of magic for each and every dawn. Cue Freddie Mercury, please. (In fact, please do listen to it while scrolling through my images – click here ). Any morning that starts with his songs is a great one, believe me. 

This morning it was frozen magic. With real frozen fingers I am afraid. In my rush to chase the light, I couldn’t find my gloves. But what a sight it was. The colours seemed to pop up even more, with the frost.

Trees Dreaming

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dreams tucked away

Leaves hot like eyelids.

Through trees and clay,

We run like kids.

Trees dreaming in a day dream

And a day dream in a song 

Sunbeams caressing on a stream

We're right where we belong. 

Right from the start

Through clouds and Spring
You touched my heart

And made it sing 

Dreaming a yearlong longing

For trees and grass and sea,

Remains of mountains calling

And dreams that cannot be.